On Valentine’s and Beyond: How to Woo (and love) a Writer

10 Ways to Woo (and love) a Writer

1.       Forgive our occasional social gaffes, like when we  gaze off mid-dinner and mid-sentence to let that bistro meal grow cold. We’re not ignoring you. Honest.  We’re writing. Or eavesdropping.  Same thing.

2.       When we’re doing a reading or speaking on a book panel, we don’t invite you along for the same reason that you don’t invite us to tag along to your office, construction site or factory floor. For a working writer, all public appearances are part of the job. And for that event, we’re focused on doing a good job, not being an attentive lover, mate or spouse.

3.       No matter how long we’ve been living/sleeping together,  we will never, ever share the same email.

4.       Feed us. It’s the way to a writer’s heart.

5.       Whatever your childhood experiences, open up to us. You see, the very act of writing helps us to know the human spirit. And that makes us good friends and loyal, empathetic partners.  So cry on our writers’ shoulders. We can take it.

6.       Somewhere I’ve read, “A clean house is a sign of a wasted life.”  So if you insist on a spotless  house,   a writer may  not be the best love-choice for you.

7.       Never, ever recycle that “useless looking scrap of paper on the dining room table.” NEVER.

8.       When we wake up next to you and mutter, “I was dreaming about a pink dragon with an extra long tail who was at this party with my very first boyfriend from secondary school?” That’s about a pink dragon with an extra long tail.  Not about you. And not about any of our ex’s.

9.       Let us love you back.  The days of the hedonistic  or the scatter-brained writers are gone. Or should be. As well being a writer,  we have a duty to love, honor, protect and contribute to our relationships and our household finances.

10.   We will not always—if ever—show you our first drafts. See item 2.

Send along your suggestions for happy relationships–and a happy writing life. 

Thanks to BooksbyWomen, the wonderful online magazine for women writers, where this appeared first. 


About Aine Greaney

I'm an Irish writer living in greater Boston. I've published four books--two novels, a small collection of short stories and a how-to writing book, "Writer with a Day Job" (Writers Digest Books). I've also published lots of short stories, essays and feature articles. My latest project, "What Brought You Here" is a non-fiction narrative about being an expatriate in America. Find me on Twitter @ainegreaney. Or at my author web page, www.ainegreaney.com. As well as creative writing, I am the communications director for a healthcare non-profit. I also lead creative writing workshops at various libraries, schools and arts programs. At my workshops, I've been inspired by lots of wonderful writers--most of whom work a day job!
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2 Responses to On Valentine’s and Beyond: How to Woo (and love) a Writer

  1. I would say to woo a writer, read her poetry, let her feel safe, let her love you and above all, let her feel “heard”. She will tell you all her stories – several times- before they come out in print, and never leave you.

  2. Aine Greaney says:

    J.J., thanks for your advice, and happy Valentine’s to you. I’m into this holiday this year–dunno why? I think your “feeling heard” part is huge, huge, huge.

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